I sharing my short writing

曲奇bb

Firstly, the title "I sharing my short writing" is grammatically incorrect, you may say, "I am sharing my short writing now" or "My short writing to environmental protection"

The following are the amendments to the passage.

1. Do you think I will environmental protection?

->Do you think we need environmental protection?

->Do you think we should take more action to environmental protection?

2. Nowadays, Hong Kong pollution problem is very serious.

->Nowadays, the pollution problem in Hong Kong is very serious.

->Nowadays, the problem of pollution in Hong Kong is very serious.

3. For example greenhouse effect and air pollution.

->For example, greenhouse effect and air pollution are two main pollution problems in Hong Kong.

4. New, I will talk air pollution because this pollution in Hong Kong is very serious.

->Now, I will focus on air pollution because it is a serious problem in Hong Kong.

5. Hong Kong people always drive the car, will carbon dioxide.

->Hong Kong people always drive the car which emits carbon dioxide.

6. Some people will feel disgusting and may be sick

-> Some people may feel disgusted or sick

7. water pollution is also serious in Hong Kong

->the water pollution in Hong Kong is also serious

->the problem of water pollution in Hong Kong is also serious

8.  The second problem, I will talk water pollution because Hong Kong people can not protect marine life.

-> The second problem which I will talk about is the water pollution because the marine life in Hong Kong are not well protected.

9. Since Hong Kong people don't protect marine life will endangered species.

->Therefore, some of the species may become endangered or even be extinct.

10. we should use public transport reduce drive the car to improve air pollution problem.

->we should take public transport to reduce the number of times driving our private cars.

11. We can conserve energy and use energy-efficient bulb

->We should conserve energy by using energy-efficient bulb

12. Face to water pollution problem

->In allusion to the problem of water pollution

13. the government could using greener methods of waste disposal reduce people from rubbish.

->the government should use greener methods of waste disposal which can reduce rubbish produced efficiently.

14. All in all

->To conclude

->To sum up

->To summarize

15. it is important to protect the environment on your side

->it is important to protect the environment

16. cutting down on consumption

->reducing the consumption on electrical energy

17. The pollution problem is very serious because aftermath people will dead.

->The problem of pollution is very serious which results in deaths of people.









Topic : Environmental protection

Do you think we need environmental protection? Nowadays, the problem of pollution in Hong Kong is very serious. For example, air pollution and water pollution are two main pollution problems in Hong Kong. In this article, I will talk about these two pollution problems.
        First of all, there are many environmental problems in Hong Kong. Now, I will focus on air pollution because it is a severe problem in Hong Kong. Hong Kong people always drive the car which emits carbon dioxide. Some people will feel disgusting or sick.
        Apart from that, the problem of water pollution in Hong Kong is also critical. It is because the marine life in Hong Kong are not well protected. As a result, some of the species may become endangered or even be extinct.
        In order to protect the environment, we should take public transport to reduce the number of times driving our private cars. Moreover, we should conserve energy by using energy-efficient bulb. In allusion to the problem of water pollution, the government should use greener methods of waste disposal which can reduce rubbish produced efficiently.
        To sum up, it is important to protect the environment. We can do so by reducing the consumption on electrical energy, recycling domestic waste, conserving energy and using cleaner fuels.



Note:
1. serious = severe = critical = 嚴重

2. greenhouse effect is not a pollution

3. I feel disgusted, but not 'I feel disgusting'
examples:
I feel bored.   ✓
I feel boring.   ✘

I feel excited.   ✓
I am excited.   ✓
I feel exciting.   ✘
I am exciting.   ✘

4. In allusion to = 針對